How do
you know when you have to pay when your going out with him or her and more
especially how do you know if THEY will pay for their own bill, on the first
date?
My
friends and I had this conversation earlier today and we kind of came to the
same conclusion of ALWAYS having your own money in case he or she turn out to have
enough money for themselves.
But then
if he asked YOU to go out, wouldn't you just assume that he will pay for the
bill? that he's got everything covered? besides that, isn't it what he IS
supposed to do either way, if he's a true gentleman?
He Pays
Tradition
tells the woman to expect a man to pay
for dates. Society says if a man wants to date a woman, he should take charge
of the situation and pursue her. This means setting up the date, navigating
time and place, and taking care of the bill…no matter at what cost. The woman
is supposed to follow his lead and is not to even glance at the bill
once it’s laid on the table.
Now, I’ve
been in conversations where girls would not even consider a 2nd date
if there was even a hesitation at the table on who would pick up the bill. For
many girls, a guy should invite them to a restaurant (or outing) that is within
his budget and should not expect her to pay, especially on the first date. The
thought is, if he invited me, he should pay.
She Pays
With the
last thought in mind of “if he invited me, he should pay”, I began to wonder
what if she invited him? Should she be responsible for the bill?
It’s 2013 and more girls are stepping out of the traditional dating role and
are asking guys out.
So is the
expectation on her to pay? I asked that question and I get a “squirmish”
response from the ladies. They like the idea of being bold enough to ask
someone out, but don’t really want to pay the bill. Is this fair, or are we
still playing the traditional role in a modern-day “suit”?
Go Dutch (separate bills)
My
mother, and I’m sure SO many other mothers, have told their daughters to NEVER
go dutch on a date…especially the first date. I’m not sure if girls would be
more insulted over having to pay the entire bill or being asked to go dutch.
Which is worse?
To me, I
think the ‘go dutch’ mentality came as a way to feed into the new age modern
woman. Traditions have changed and I believe guys have fed into the idea of the women
being able to handle her own, this including the bill. However, going dutch is still not a popular dating concept and is tabooed by
many love and relationship 'experts'.
Personally,
I would highly appreciate it when I’m asked out that the bill is paid by my
date/suitor. In all honesty, I may raise an eyebrow if I was asked to pay for
the first date (especially if I was asked out), but again, that’s why I select,
based on my normal process. Of course I ALWAYS bring enough to cover my portion
(let’s be smart!). Would there be a 2nd date if I had to pay the 1st?
Probably not, but the circumstances may change that answer.
After a
few dates, I'm sure Id be more than happy to pitch in like tipping the waiter
or paying for drinks or desert after the meal. I actually think a lot of women would agree
with me on this as well. Of course you will have some girls who never feel the need
to pay for anything, EVER. Hey, to each his own, whatever floats your boat, and
if you like it, I like it less but I’m happy for you!
Hmm.. Who
do you think should pay on the 1st date? What about date #2, #3 and so on??
Malistic D*!
